Marijuana Museum – Amsterdam

The Hash, Marihuana and Hemp Museum – where else – Amsterdam.


Most of the time, WOEFULTOURIST recognizes that as far as he is concerned, he can’t help but lose for trying.

Which is why he stopped trying years ago.

What’s the point.

He has simply accepted what Fate has laid in front of his feet, forever tripping him up in the process.

Namely, that in the magnet of life, he is the end that only attracts negative particles.

Is it a gift?

Is it a curse?

Is it a gifted curse?

Is it a cursed gift?

Does it really matter?

Probably not.

So simply accept it as fact and try not to fall flat on your face in the process.

WOEFULTOURIST is also blessed with the prospect that location does not seem to have any impact on him finding negativism (or it finding him).

When his better half suggested that he needed a break from the rat race and should go to the country to relax (and by suggest he means that she made the reservations for him) he of course obeyed.

Which did nothing for his anti-negativism.

Because even in that idyllic setting, he got no peace.

Heck, the frogs were in mating mode and kept him up all night.

And apparently roosters don’t just crow at dawn, they do so every fifteen minutes before the dawn.

Buggers that they are.

Then, again, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Like the time he was in Amsterdam, home to all things marijuana.

They have shops to smoke it in.

Places to purchase growing kits so you can comfortably grow your own.

Heck, there’s even a museum devoted to it.

But of course, when WOEFULTOURIST went to visit the Marijuana Museum (hoping for free samples) it was closed.

Which meant he was deprived of the opportunity to see the exhibit on rolling papers through the years that seemed so interesting in the brochure.

Didn’t get a chance to see the largest ball of weed on the planet.

Never did find out which world leaders were nothing but glorified stoners at heart.

After all, why do you think Napolean always kept his hand inside his breast pocket?

If you said to protect his stash, you win a prize.

So, while he never got a chance to get in, that  doesn’t mean that you should do the same.

So if you happen to be in Amsterdam and are looking for some intellectual pursuit, you could do worse than visiting the Marijuana Museum.

And trust WOEFULTOURIST when he says, he knows worst.












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Wacky Travel News

Fake Sputnik Capsule – Berlin

Wacky Travel News that’s out of this world – (as is the totally inappropriate commentary that follows.

August 17, 2017 Edition

Passengers Stranded In Vegas, Stay In Vegas                                                                       Dory Jackson,International Business Times Tue, Jul 25 2017
Allegiant Air reportedly left almost 200 passengers stranded in Las Vegas, Nevada Sunday following a canceled flight to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, according to FOX 5 Vegas. The airline informed customers that they would not be placed on another flight until Thursday, leaving passengers stranded at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas for four days after their original scheduled flight.
“This is an unusual situation — canceling without a reschedule is rare, and is only invoked when there are truly no other options available for switching aircraft or rescheduling,” Krysta Levy, a spokeswoman for Allegiant Air, told International Business Times. “Unlike many larger carriers, Allegiant does not have daily service to all markets served from Las Vegas. In many instances, these are two-times weekly flights.”
Levy added, “All options were explored to get our passengers to their destination, but unfortunately, there were no practical solutions given the heavy Sunday and Monday schedules in our network.”
Mechanical issues with the air craft disrupted Allegiant Flight 454 from taking off. The 160 passengers were offered a $300 check but were told it wouldn’t arrive in the mail for seven to 10 business days. Passengers could use the check to rebook their flight with Allegiant, or they would receive a refund if they chose not to rebook their flight with the airline.
Jennifer Falsetti, a FOX 25 reporter in Oklahoma City, tweeted pictures of the letters passengers on Flight 454 received from Allegiant upon the carrier’s cancellation. Allegiant sent an email and traditional mail letter to the flight’s passengers.
“We regret to inform you that your upcoming Allegiant flight 454 originally scheduled to to depart McCarran International Airport (LAS) to Will Rogers World Airport (OKC) on Sunday, July 23 at 04:03 pm has been canceled,” the apology email read. “Visit and select Manage Travel to view the options available for your itinerary.” 
Airline issues aren’t a new phenomenon, but Twitter users have expressed their disdain towards of the carrier following the company’s latest scandal, with some deeming it the “worst airline on the planet.” 
Some customers tried to make the best of the situation, with one group of friends embarking on a road trip from Las Vegas to Oklahoma City, according to NBC News affiliate KFOR. 
Read: EU Airplane-Style Drone Regulations May Be Issued By 2019
Spokeswoman Levy issued an official apology on behalf of Allegiant for the disruption of customers’ travel plans, saying the airline has issued refunds and additional benefits to all passengers who would have boarded flight 454 to Oklahoma City. 
“We sincerely apologize for the interruption to our passengers’ travel plans. All passengers have been issued refunds for the flight, as well as an additional $300 to help defray costs associated with the disruption to their plans,” she said. “In addition, each passenger has been issued a $150 voucher toward future travel on Allegiant. Passengers were also given the option to be re-accommodated on another Allegiant flight at no charge, for example, some chose to take yesterday’s flight from Las Vegas to nearby Tulsa, OK.”

WOEFULTOURIST says, “Could have been worse, they could have been stranded in Arkansas.”



A weird Florida mystery: Frozen pork falling from the sky                                             By TERRY SPENCER / Associated Press / Jul 20, 2017 

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) — Meat falling from the sky is weird, even by Florida standards.
But that’s what happened at 4 a.m. Saturday when a 15-pound (6.8-kilogram) bag of frozen pork landed on the Deerfield Beach home of Travis Adair and his family.
Adair said Thursday that the package hit his roof with a “big bang.” He thought it was thunder, but his wife Jennie later went outside and found two bundles next to the house. His son Austin found three on the roof.
“It had to fall from the sky,” Adair said. “It was too heavy to throw on the roof.” The home is near three airports, so Adair thinks it fell from a plane.
The Federal Aviation Administration had no immediate comment Thursday
Labeling on the package shows it originally belonged to Jim Williams, who lives 170 miles (270 kilometers) away in Myakka City, a rural town of 6,300 residents. Williams, who owns a company that prepares fields for planting, said Thursday he bought some pigs from some children at a county fair in January. He kept much of the meat and gave some away but he has no idea how any of it ended up on the Adairs’ roof. He is not a pilot and doesn’t own a plane.
“I would have thought 15 pounds of frozen meat falling from an airplane would have put a hole in the roof,” Williams said.
His friend, Jimmy Fussell, who owns the butcher shop that processed the pigs for Williams, said the mystery, which was featured on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” certainly “beats hearing about all the politics going on.” And it has given everyone in Myakka City a laugh.
As for the meat, the Adairs threw it away – though Williams has offered to throw the family a barbecue.

WOEFULTOURIST says, “He’s heard of manna from heaven, but never pork sausage.”


London Zoo welcomes a new kind of visitor: Robotic dinosaurs                                Associated Press •July 20, 2017
LONDON (AP) — London Zoo is welcoming a new star attraction this summer: robotic dinosaurs.
Visitors will see robotic replicas of Mesozoic-era dinosaurs, including T. Rex and Triceratops, which lived approximately 65 million years ago, at a “time travel safari” exhibit named Zoorassic Park. The robots make sounds and motions that mimic the real-life dinosaurs. Some even drip water out of their mouths or spray it at passers-by.
Information about the dinosaurs’ massive extinction is dispersed throughout the display at the zoo in north London. At the end, visitors are “transported” back to modern times with a video on endangered species, recent extinctions and conservation efforts.
The exhibition opens Saturday and runs until Sept. 3.

WOEFULTOURIST says, “Talk about life imitating art.”

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The Angry Dog – Dallas

My 20th anniversary shirt

 WOEFULTOURIST has spent the better part of his life at bars in just about every  possible circumstance. He has spent countless hours belly up at one, passed out under the pool table at one, or projectile vomiting in the men’s room of one.  So when it comes to bars, he considers himself to have had a well rounded education.

Similarly, when it comes to beer, he prides himself on being pretty well versed on the art of brewing and consuming said alcoholic beverage.

Even though he can’t spell or pronounce the name of the German beer purity law, he can certainly appreciate what it has done for the history and quality of that wonderful beverage.

Unfortunately, there are still beer anarchists who insist on despoiling beer with all manner of additives.

WOEFULTOURIST will have none of it.

So you can take your cranberry, wheat, cinnamon, clove, apple, honey slop and use it to baste a half baked chicken, just don’t put it into the beer.

Enough said.

While WOEFULTOURIST has had a wide variety of beer/bar experiences, even a common sewer like himself, on rare occasions comes face to face with something he has never seen before.

Which brings us to The Angry Dog, a fine drinking establishment located in the Deep Ellum section of Dallas.   The bar also has a kick ass kitchen that year in and year out is voted as serving up some of Dallas’ best bar food.  Nevertheless, WOEFULTOURIST was there primarily for the beer, using the good food as a sponge to allow him to absorb and therefore consume even more beer than normal..

Nothing seemed extra special that Friday night as he sat himself down at the bar with his good friend and part owner of the place, John Little.

After consuming several Fat Tires, checking out ESPN for the latest sports scores, and having an intense discussion on whether or not one could separate Michael Jackson – the great Motown artist, from Michael Jackson – the freak show, WOEFULTOURIST noticed the bartender putting a plastic cup on the Fat Tire tap.  The universal sign for “empty keg”.

“I guess I won’t be having another Fat Tire.”

“Not for at least another half hour.” was John’s response.

Wondering why it would take a half an hour to change kegs in the walk in cooler, WOEFULTOURIST nevertheless kept the question to himself as he finished his draft and opted for a Shiner Bock as his next beverage.

More sports viewing followed, as well as a heated discussion as to whether or not Frampton Comes Alive was the best live concert album ever.  Then just as the banter was reaching a frenzied point, the front door opened and a man walked in wheeling a keg of beer on a hand truck.

Confused, WOEFULTOURIST looked to John for an explanation.

“Oh, that’s our keg guy.”

“You have your own keg guy?”

“Actually, we share him with all of Dallas.  When a keg runs dry we call our keg guy and a half hour later, we get a delivery.”

“On a Friday night?!”

“Any day of the week.”

“But that’s brilliant!”

“It works for me.”

WOEFULTOURIST always acknowledges brilliance, and this time was no different.

A beer keg delivery service that brings you kegs of beer only when you need them, eliminating the need for walk in coolers to store your kegs as well as the miles of tubing needed to carry the cold beer to the taps?!  Brilliant!

So he raised his glass in recognition of the concept and the bartender, being a trained professional, immediately poured him a brand new Fat Tire.

WOEFULTOURIST had just experienced a totally novel beer/bar experience – in Dallas, Texas of all places.

Who’d have guessed that a state that doesn’t allow bars to give their best customers an occasional free drink, and still has towns and counties that are dry –( honestly, there are places in Texas where seven days a week, no alcohol can be bought or sold – perish the thought) would nevertheless come up with the brilliant notion of the “Keg Guy”.

WOEFULTOURIST, in acknowledgment, would like to tip his hat and raise his glass to The Angry Dog, as well as the great state of Texas.

And, yes Mr. Bartender, he’d like another Fat Tire, if you please!

(Congratulations to The Angry Dog, winner of the Dallas Morning News 2012 Best Burger in Dallas Award.)


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Wacky Travel News

Fake Sputnik Capsule – Berlin

Wacky Travel News that’s out of this world – (as is the totally inappropriate commentary that follows.

August 15, 2017 Edition

Swedish train to be named Trainy McTrainface in tribute to Boaty                            Reporting by Johan Ahlander / Reuters •July 20, 2017

STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – A Swedish rail operator has vowed to name one of its trains “Trainy McTrainface” after a public vote, saying it would bring joy to people disappointede when Britain rejected the name Boaty McBoatface for a polar research ship following a similar poll.
Trainy McTrainface won 49 percent of the votes in the naming competition, conducted online by train operator MTR Express and Swedish newspaper Metro, beating choices such as Hakan, Miriam and Poseidon.
“(This is) news that will be received with joy by many, not just in Sweden,” MTR wrote in a statement.
The train will run between the Swedish capital Stockholm and Gothenburg, the country’s second-biggest city.
Last year, the British government said a new 200 million pound ($259 million) polar research ship would be named after veteran BBC naturalist David Attenborough even though the name “Boaty McBoatface” had topped an online poll.
The instigator of the Boaty name later apologized for his suggestion, which won more than 124,000 votes.
As a consolatory gesture, the research ship’s remotely operated undersea vehicle, designed to collect samples from the deep waters of the Arctic and Antarctic, will be named Boaty McBoatface, the government said.
MTR said another train had been voted to be named “Glenn”, an apparent tribute to an IFK Gothenburg soccer team of the 1980s that featured four players of that name — uncommon in Sweden — including Glenn Hysen, who later captained Liverpool.

WOEFULTOURIST says, “Engineer McEngineerface said he was proud to be the head man on the new train.”


Is that really a beached whale beneath Paris’ Notre Dame                        Associated Press •July 21, 2017

PARIS (AP) — A sperm whale appears to have beached on an embankment in the shadow of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.
Or maybe not.
A Belgian artists’ collective installed a very real-looking, life-size whale sculpture Friday alongside the Seine River, eliciting surprise and concern from tourists and Parisians alike.
Bart Van Peel, a member of the collective, said the installation is about raising environmental awareness and awakening “the child in everyone who still is puzzled about what is real and what is not.”
Kim Landman from New York was among those taken aback, especially after Van Peel spun a tale describing how the whale got stuck under a city bridge.
Parisian Charles Jean was immediately skeptical, asking whether the whale had climbed onto the quay with a ladder.

WOEFULTOURIST says, “Is that a beached whale, or are you just happy to see me?”


Marijuana business offers weed for weeds on cleanup day                                          Associated Press •July 24, 2017

GARDINER, Maine (AP) — A medical marijuana businessman in Maine is offering weed for weeds in a program to encourage Gardiner residents to clean up their city.
WCSH-TV reports ( ) that Dennis Meehan, owner of Summit Medical Marijuana, offered residents who collected trash Saturday free marijuana. The businessman says anyone who was over 21 was offered free marijuana if they presented a bag of trash that was collected in town.
Meehan’s company advertised the cleanup effort on Facebook, and he says he hopes to expand what he calls “the day of service” program to the entire state. Mehan says the program is about bringing awareness to the “life-changing” nature of cannabis as well.
Gifting marijuana is legal in Maine.
Meehan says he got the idea for the swap from a Colorado town’s similar program.

WOEFULTOURIST says, “It’s not the thought that counts, it’s the doobie.”


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Chinese Buffet Restaurant

That’s right, some Chinese Buffet Restaurants even serve breakfast.


Sometimes WOEFULTOURIST wants it all.

Of course he can’t afford it.

Nor is there even a sliver of empty space in his completely full garage to store it in.

Still, while he is really no more than a bull in a china shoppe, sometimes he wishes that he were just a kid in a candy store.

Able to satiate his ever present sweet tooth with any and every wonderful candy concoction that his tummy desires.

Then to follow it up with sweets that he likes, but does not lust for.

Then to follow it up with treats that he kind of likes, but does not crave.

Until he is so full of sweets that his even his sweet tooth flees in revolt.

Because sometimes a little isn’t enough.

He wants it all.

Which is probably why WOULTOURIST spends many weekends planning on what he’d do if he won fifty million dollars in the lottery.

This in spite of the fact that he doesn’t actually play the lottery.

Then he realizes the foolishness of such an activity – fifty million isn’t nearly enough to get it all.

So he switches gears and plans on what he’d do if he won one hundred million in the lottery.

Only to remember how silly that is – because after taxes his winnings would only be fifty million, which he already decided wasn’t nearly enough.

So he switches gears, again, and plans on what he’d do if he won three hundred million dollars in the lottery.

Then the alarm goes off and he gets himself ready for work.

But it doesn’t deter WOEFULTOURIST from desiring it all.

So when that need hits him like a fat lady singing that it’s over, there is only one way to satisfy it.

He goes to the nearest Chinese Buffet Restaurant.

For those few who may be unfamiliar with such a treat, the Chinese Buffet Restaurant does not only serve one from column A and one from column B.

Heck, most of what they serve hasn’t set foot in mainland China since the last emperor – the real live person, not the movie.

Instead, it has a little bit of everything.

And WOEFULTOURIST can have it all.

From squid to salad.

From fried chicken to stuffed clams.

From fruit, to beef on a stick, to wonderful fried dumplings that don’t even need soy sauce to make them taste delicious.

But since he needs to have it all, the soy sauce is a necessity for him.

Such is the draw of the Chinese Buffet Restaurant.

Because not only is the belly of WOEFULTOURIST satisfied after a visit there,  so is the miser in him.

After all, where else can you have it all for under twenty dollars (that’s including the tip).

One of the seven wonders of the world, to be sure.

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