What happens when the Amsterdam sports bar WOEFULTOURIST happens to be drinking in decides to turn into a eurotrash dance party?
Why WOEFULTOURIST leaves, of course.
But that’s a story for another day.
As is the gay dude who decided that everyone needed to see him shake his groove thing so he jumped up on the bar and started to gyrate that groove thing. Managing not to break any glasses, or hit his head on the ceiling during the process.
Which WOEFULTOURIST was somewhat amazed at.
And while he cannot in good conscience congratulate the male dancer for such gyrational activity in a sports bar (he was probably a trained professional taking a night off from his national tour) WOEFULTOURIST nevertheless can applaud his ability not to fall and break things, including body parts, when standing on bars while consuming alcoholic beverages, since he has some experience on the “inability” side.
Rather, it made WOEFULTOURIST appreciate the pure pleasure of the sports bar experience he has come to know and love in America.
Because when the sports bar idea immigrated to Europe, some papers (possibly a book, maybe even a bootleg dvd) got lost in the journey.
More likely it got confiscated by customs.
Which is the only reason WOEFULTOURIST can come up with to explain the disparity between American and European sports bars.
In Europe, the bar part of the sports bar has shrunk to minimal proportions.
For some reason, Europeans don’t find it homey, or comfortable to literally sit at the bar and watch sports.
Instead, they prefer to sit and drink at little tables (some of which are located outside, thus allowing them to check out babes walking past and fail miserably to impress them – which actually isn’t that much different from sports bars in America, come to think of it.)
But getting back to the differences.
The sports that they show in sports bars in Europe are completely different than what they show in the States.
Soccer and rugby are fine sports for Europeans, but where’s the baseball?
Where’s the “American” football?
Where’s the NBA?
No, in Europe you get to watch a bunch of guys race around in souped-up vehicles around a track as everyone secretly hopes they get into horrific looking crashes that hopefully don’t result in serious injury to the drivers, but look really cool in slow motion replay.
Come to think of it, kind of like the relationship Americans have with NASCAR.
But back to the most important difference of all.
They don’t show American sports “live” in European sports bars?
Don’t give WOEFULTOURIST the lame excuse of a 6 to 7 hour time difference as the source of the problem.
You can’t tell WOEFULTOURIST that there isn’t some simple, high tech solution to something as important to civilization as showing live American sports in American style sports bars in Europe.
Rather, WOEFULTOURIST chooses to believe that it’s probably the commies causing problems, yet again.
“Hey Vladimir, the Cold War is over. You lost. Get over it.”
WOEFULTOURIST needs his American football fix, even when he’s in Europe all the news media can focus on is the that the Russkys have decided to go back in time and try to win the Cold War, the second time around
So, Vlad, Igor and the rest of the boys – take a chill pill with your hourly shot of vodka, kick back with some pickled herring and watch the greatest game ever invented by an American, like the rest of the civilized world.