If you’re banking on your realtor, you may be barking up the wrong tree
WOEFULTOURIST would like to spend a few moments talking about his recent experience dealing with the American Dream
For those of his readers who may not be from America he suggests you visit asap, or at least before Donald Trump builds a wall around this fine nation so as to keep you all out.
Now to avoid some confusion (but not all since that would take the fun out of things) WOEFULTOURIST feels it necessary to explain to those who need it, exactly what the American Dream is by telling you what it is not.
It is not to sleep with a Hollywood hunk/ette – that would actually be the definition of the American Wet Dream.
And no, it is not to have your own reality show where the world could watch you and your dysfunctional family be dysfunctional and get paid millions of dollars for the privilege – that would actually be the definition of the American Nightmare.
Actually, the American Dream has been, for as long as most folks can remember, to be able to own your own house and not have to live with your parents who have no sense of humor when it comes to picking up your clothes, making your bed, or taking out the trash.
As for paying rent – unh, sorry, no comprende.
Owning a house has been so migrained into the psyche of American culture that not even triple strength Advil will relieve the pounding of the construction on the new housing development down the block.
Now it had been a long time since WOEFULTOURIST had the joy of being part of the home buying/selling equation, so when the opportunity arrived, he jumped at it.
Missed again and just sat there like a bump on a log (a big one) until help arrived.
As for helping his friend who was selling his house, all WOEFULTOLURIST can say is that technology has been a game changer – so please change it back.
Or come up with a new game.
Because realtors – those people who get paid a commission to sell your house for you since you can’t pay a commission to yourself – aint what they used to be.
In the old days, your realtor actually did work.
Today, if WOEFULTOURIST’S limited experience counts for anything – (which is always highly debatable) it seems that all realtors do is take your information, plug it into a pdf file on their computer, upload it to the real estate website and wait for potential buyers to arrive like the eleventh plague.
Aside from being the go between from other realtors with clients looking for houses and you, there doesn’t appear to be much work that realtors actually do.
In the old days, your realtor also looked and acted in a professional manner.
Today, when they tell you they’ll meet you at your house between 3 and 330, that’s a recommendation, not a “hold me to it” time to expect them to be there.
And if they actually opt to do the right thing and inform you that they are cancelling, the current industry standard is to call, or text, half an hour after the actual appointment time.
Because courtesy aint what it used to be, either.
Then again, (then) they’re under a lot of stress and can’t be expected to be pro-active in their actions.
As for proper dress code, there doesn’t’ appear to be one. So when the group of people exit the minivan to look at your house, the guy with the dirty shirt hanging out of his pants is not necessarily the harried Dad who just got out of work.
It may be his realtor.
So while one would have thought that technology would have made it easier for realtors to be more professional – one would be very, very, very wrong.
In fact, it appears that the more technology they have available to them, the less prone they are to actually use it.
So be prepared, ladies and gentleman.
Because these days whether you email, text, or use your cellphone to leave a message for your realtor – don’t expect a timely response.
After all, they’re not there to get your house sold for the best price and deal for you – they’re in it to make money for them.
And since technology does the work for them, they now have more time to do less and earn more, as a consequence.
So stop your belly-aching, take some Pepto, and clean up your room by throwing all of your dirty clothes into one of the dresser drawers. There’s a showing in half an hour – that’s if the potential buyers bother to show up.
And it doesn’t really matter because the realtors, regardless of how they’re dressed, still get paid for the privilege.