Most of the time, WOEFULTOURIST recognizes that as far as he is concerned, he can’t help but lose for trying.
Which is why he stopped trying years ago.
What’s the point.
He has simply accepted what Fate has laid in front of his feet, forever tripping him up in the process.
Namely, that in the magnet of life, he is the end that only attracts negative particles.
Is it a gift?
Is it a curse?
Is it a gifted curse?
Is it a cursed gift?
Does it really matter?
So simply accept it as fact and try not to fall flat on your face in the process.
WOEFULTOURIST is also blessed with the prospect that location does not seem to have any impact on him finding negativism (or it finding him).
When his better half suggested that he needed a break from the rat race and should go to the country to relax (and by suggest he means that she made the reservations for him) he of course obeyed.
Which did nothing for his anti-negativism.
Because even in that idyllic setting, he got no peace.
Heck, the frogs were in mating mode and kept him up all night.
And apparently roosters don’t just crow at dawn, they do so every fifteen minutes before the dawn.
Buggers that they are.
Then, again, he shouldn’t have been surprised.
Like the time he was in Amsterdam, home to all things marijuana.
They have shops to smoke it in.
Places to purchase growing kits so you can comfortably grow your own.
Heck, there’s even a museum devoted to it.
But of course, when WOEFULTOURIST went to visit the Marijuana Museum (hoping for free samples) it was closed.
Which meant he was deprived of the opportunity to see the exhibit on rolling papers through the years that seemed so interesting in the brochure.
Didn’t get a chance to see the largest ball of weed on the planet.
Never did find out which world leaders were nothing but glorified stoners at heart.
After all, why do you think Napolean always kept his hand inside his breast pocket?
If you said to protect his stash, you win a prize.
So, while he never got a chance to get in, that doesn’t mean that you should do the same.
So if you happen to be in Amsterdam and are looking for some intellectual pursuit, you could do worse than visiting the Marijuana Museum.
And trust WOEFULTOURIST when he says, he knows worst.