WOEFULTOURIST has spent the better part of his life at bars in just about every possible circumstance. He has spent countless hours belly up at one, passed out under the pool table at one, or projectile vomiting in the men’s room of one. So when it comes to bars, he considers himself to have had a well rounded education.
Similarly, when it comes to beer, he prides himself on being pretty well versed on the art of brewing and consuming said alcoholic beverage.
Even though he can’t spell or pronounce the name of the German beer purity law, he can certainly appreciate what it has done for the history and quality of that wonderful beverage.
Unfortunately, there are still beer anarchists who insist on despoiling beer with all manner of additives.
WOEFULTOURIST will have none of it.
So you can take your cranberry, wheat, cinnamon, clove, apple, honey slop and use it to baste a half baked chicken, just don’t put it into the beer.
While WOEFULTOURIST has had a wide variety of beer/bar experiences, even a common sewer like himself, on rare occasions comes face to face with something he has never seen before.
Which brings us to The Angry Dog, a fine drinking establishment located in the Deep Ellum section of Dallas. The bar also has a kick ass kitchen that year in and year out is voted as serving up some of Dallas’ best bar food. Nevertheless, WOEFULTOURIST was there primarily for the beer, using the good food as a sponge to allow him to absorb and therefore consume even more beer than normal..
Nothing seemed extra special that Friday night as he sat himself down at the bar with his good friend and part owner of the place, John Little.
After consuming several Fat Tires, checking out ESPN for the latest sports scores, and having an intense discussion on whether or not one could separate Michael Jackson – the great Motown artist, from Michael Jackson – the freak show, WOEFULTOURIST noticed the bartender putting a plastic cup on the Fat Tire tap. The universal sign for “empty keg”.
“I guess I won’t be having another Fat Tire.”
“Not for at least another half hour.” was John’s response.
Wondering why it would take a half an hour to change kegs in the walk in cooler, WOEFULTOURIST nevertheless kept the question to himself as he finished his draft and opted for a Shiner Bock as his next beverage.
More sports viewing followed, as well as a heated discussion as to whether or not Frampton Comes Alive was the best live concert album ever. Then just as the banter was reaching a frenzied point, the front door opened and a man walked in wheeling a keg of beer on a hand truck.
Confused, WOEFULTOURIST looked to John for an explanation.
“Oh, that’s our keg guy.”
“You have your own keg guy?”
“Actually, we share him with all of Dallas. When a keg runs dry we call our keg guy and a half hour later, we get a delivery.”
“On a Friday night?!”
“Any day of the week.”
“But that’s brilliant!”
“It works for me.”
WOEFULTOURIST always acknowledges brilliance, and this time was no different.
A beer keg delivery service that brings you kegs of beer only when you need them, eliminating the need for walk in coolers to store your kegs as well as the miles of tubing needed to carry the cold beer to the taps?! Brilliant!
So he raised his glass in recognition of the concept and the bartender, being a trained professional, immediately poured him a brand new Fat Tire.
WOEFULTOURIST had just experienced a totally novel beer/bar experience – in Dallas, Texas of all places.
Who’d have guessed that a state that doesn’t allow bars to give their best customers an occasional free drink, and still has towns and counties that are dry –( honestly, there are places in Texas where seven days a week, no alcohol can be bought or sold – perish the thought) would nevertheless come up with the brilliant notion of the “Keg Guy”.
WOEFULTOURIST, in acknowledgment, would like to tip his hat and raise his glass to The Angry Dog, as well as the great state of Texas.
And, yes Mr. Bartender, he’d like another Fat Tire, if you please!
(Congratulations to The Angry Dog, winner of the Dallas Morning News 2012 Best Burger in Dallas Award.)