There is something about the exotic that is exciting, somehow.
WOEFULTOURIST must confess (his shrink, insisted) that he is often guilty of such wanderlust.
Because instead of being quite content to explore the sights, sounds and smells of those things close to home, he is usually enamored with thoughts (sometimes lustful) of far away places.
If truth be told (which it rarely is) WOEFULTOURIST spends untold sleepless nights (and it’s not due to his better half’s snoring) dreaming of visiting far away places and doing far away things.
Like, finally going to Canton, Ohio and visiting the NFL Hall of Fame.
To see all the old time uniforms.
Perhaps, even to touch the Lombardi Trophy.
And, if he’s really lucky, to get a glimpse of that rarest of things – the only toe jam football known to exist.
Or visit Italy, again.
Only this time, to see all of the amazing sites he missed on his first visit.
Highest on that list, of course, are the ruins of the Pompetus of Love.
He can hardly imagine how all of that love could have been ruined in minutes as the rumblings of the nearby volcano became something much worse than mere indigestion.
All WOEFULTOURIST can say is, “Da doo doo doo, da da da da.”
Perhaps, someday soon, WOEFULTOURIST can visit Southern California and get an autograph from the little old lady from Pasadena.
Or go to Holland and yodel with Hocus Pocus Focus.
WOEFULTOURIST admits it, sussudio.
It’s a disease.
And while there is a cure, medicare won’t cover it.
So WOEFULTOURIST did something on his own to try and counteract the effects.
He went local.
And visited The Garden State Sculpture Gardens, oddly located smack, dab in the Garden State.
As for how you know when you’re getting close ?
Just look for the giant statues pointing the way.
As for the Gardens, themselves.
WOEFULTOURIST was amazed.
Who knew that Abe Lincoln was so tall?
Or that Marilyn Monroe’s legs went on for days (or thirty feet, if you prefer).
It was a revelation.
Although, WOEFUORIST must admit that it can also be a bit creepy.
Especially when you realize that the conversation you’ve been having for the past ten minutes, while comfortably seated on the bench, was with a sculpture, not a human being.
Then, again, he wasn’t interrupted by the other person attempting to point out the many flaws in WOEFULTOURIST’S logic.
So there is that.
And while on the way home, he fought the law and the law won, WOEFULTOURIST was happily surprised that in his own back yard, he could find something as intriguing and enjoyable as The Garden State Sculpture Garden.