WOEFULTOURIST can’t help himself – so please give what you can.
Everything is appreciated.
Cash is encouraged.
When it comes to everyday things, WOEFULTOURIST just can’t help but look for bargains.
After all a penny saved is a penny earmarked for some tax loophole for the rich ten percenters, to help them get through tough times of their own making where they bit off more than they could chew, then got a government bailout for a whole new set of dentures.
So he scours thru the Sunday papers (yes, they still have newspapers in America: real ones with comics; and unreal ones without) for coupons on items he may, or may not need.
But since it’s a bargain, being on sale and all, what was an un-needed item, suddenly becomes a necessity to life itself.
Such is the power of a bargain.
It elevates the unnecessary to the gotta have.
And when WOEFULTOURIST sets his sights on a gotta have item, illusions to the contrary, he’s going to get it, regardless of the cost involved.
That is because sales have the uncanny (plastic wrap will be fine) ability to cause retinal dysfunction – resulting in the eye seeing only the savings of the item in question, not the overall cost.
It’s like a blind spot develops.
And only upon returning home with bundles of bargains, does the questioning other half berate him for purchasing the over-hyped, under-utilized, over-priced items in question.
Somehow, in America, it is a physical impossibility, when shopping and spying a “sale” sign, to see anything other than the sale price and deduce that it must be a bargain simply because it is on sale.
Nevertheless, it does not prevent WOEFULTOURIST from proudly announcing, after a successful shopping for bargain adventure, that he saved a hundred dollars shopping because he purchased something he didn’t need because it was a hundred dollars off of its previous, un-sale price.
So in WOEFUL-Economic terms, he didn’t waste three hundred dollars on the purchase of something he didn’t need; he saved three hundred dollars by shopping wisely.
That’s a six hundred dollar swing.
Heck, in no time he’ll have enough money saved up to purchase that houseboat he never really wanted, or needed, but since it will inevitably be on sale when he happens to notice it, will be a bargain that he just won’t be able to pass up.
The whole, “moving it from where it is to a lake that he doesn’t have” part of things is just a trivial detail that he doesn’t have to spend any quality time worrying about, given that it’s just a trivial detail.
The curious (and by curious he means weird, strange, and/or totally bizarre) aspect of American bargain hunting is that for the daily, basic home goods Americans will go our of their way to find the best deals.
Or at least the ones that are on sale.
However, when it comes to big ticket items, there is little, to no thought process involved .
Whether it’s a big screen tv, or a new car makes no difference.
Whether it’s a new house, or a new computer makes no difference.
Whether it’s a washing machine, or a new couch, no difference.
In those big ticket item situations, we don’t research anything.
We don’t compare manufacturers.
We don’t check out online ratings of devices.
What do we do?
We buy on impulse.
It’s a knee jerk reaction for us.
We need it.
We want it.
We’ll get it.
With only one criterion involved.
It’s gotta be a bargain.
So as long as there’s a “sale” sign in front of it, we’ll get it.
And afterwards we’ll proudly announce to anyone who will listen, “I just saved thousands on my latest purchase of an overpriced device that was on sale.
WOEFUL-economics being what it isn’t.